


Year One: Things Crossed Out

by Edken



Series: Marauders: Beginning to End [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst, Backstory, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Coming of Age, First Meetings, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen, Growing Up Together, Hogwarts First Year, Hogwarts classes, Innocence, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mostly Canon Compliant, Plot Building, Slow Burn, Whump (minimal), lots of filler, multiple POVs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29110872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Edken/pseuds/Edken
Summary: It started, of course, at the beginning.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Marauders: Beginning to End [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2135913
Comments: 4
Kudos: 1





	1. Four Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four boys make their way onto the Hogwarts Express.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my beginning-to-end version of events for the Marauders. This is somewhat of an introductory chapter; after this they get longer and more detailed. I hope you enjoy!

_ September 1st, 1971 _

“Why do I have to go through on my own?” a young blonde boy pouted, staring dubiously ahead at what his parents claimed was not, in fact, a solid brick wall. His eyes twitched nervously around at the people filtering through King’s Cross Station, gulping each time one stopped to stare at his owl perched restlessly in it’s cage.

“We can’t all disappear at once,” his father reminded him, leaning down to whisper the words over his shoulder. A moment later he felt a gentle squeeze from his mother in the same spot.

“We’ll be right behind you,” she reassured. “Run straight ahead, you’ll be alright.”

Despite seriously doubting that, he took a deep breath, screwed his eyes shut, and ran full speed at the mass of brick until...

“Hey!”

He heard the crash before he saw it, eyes snapping open just in time to witness his trolley bouncing off another and sending them both careening toward a nearby wall. Luckily, a tall wizard was there to wave his wand and slow them before Platform 9 ¾ could be littered with dented cauldrons and inky quills.

“S-Sorry!” the boy called out over the sound of screeching owls. His face felt as though it might boil, but he quickly noticed the wizard was chuckling good naturedly.

“Don’t worry about it, kiddo. First year?”

He rubbed at his elbow and nodded sheepishly.

“My son, too. Hold on, I’ll call him over.” The wizard turned, cupping a hand around his mouth before shouting, “James! C’mere and meet-”

He turned back to the boy. “What's your name, kiddo?”

“I-I’m Peter. Peter Pettigrew.”

“Hey, James!” the wizard shouted again. “C’mere and meet Peter Pettigrew! He’s in your year!”

~ ~ ~

“Nobody else will be wearing dress robes to get on the train.”

Walburga Black tutted in annoyance, a long finger tapping under her son’s chin to quiet him. Sirius fell silent obediently, grey eyes hardening as his mother bent to straighten the seams of his lavish robes. Black velvet dropped from his narrow shoulders and cascaded to the floor, a high collar climbing his chest.

“The muggles will notice,” he muttered, tugging at the restriction. 

Walburga swatted his hand away. “We don’t care what muggles notice,” she snapped. As she stood back to admire her work Sirius straightened, knowing his role in this part very well. He allowed his mother’s gaze to rake over him, searching for mistakes, until the sound of a door opening above them echoed through the front hall. Both heads turned toward the staircase to find Orion Black standing at the top.

“Ah, good,” Walburga practically purred, crimson lips curling. “Come, Orion. Take a look at your son.”

She turned back to Sirius as his father began to make his way down the steps. Upon reaching the bottom he gave Sirius a swift once over, then strode wordlessly past the pair and into the dining room where he left the door slightly ajar as an invitation for Walburga to follow. Sirius was promptly left to stand alone, suddenly feeling rather small. The house had always felt as though it had been made to fit his parents. Unformed in their absence, like an echo of what it was meant to be.

Hardly a moment had passed when Sirius heard another sound from above. A door. Feet on carpet. A hand squeaking along the oak banister. He turned once more, although this time his face split into a grin.

“Reg,” he greeted, careful to keep his voice low. His gaze flickered briefly to the dining room doorway before returning to his younger brother. “Mother and father told you to wait in your room,” he chided gently. Nine year old Regulus shrugged.

“Had to say goodbye, didn’t I?”

Sirius’s smile grew, but Regulus’s expression was harder to read. They stood there for a long moment, neither one knowing what to say.

“Make sure Slytherin wins the house cup,” the younger boy finally broke the silence.

Sirius snorted. “Who could win against me?”

“You’re not _that_ great.”

“Says _who_?” 

Regulus pursed his lips in an attempt not to smirk.

“Bella?”

He shrugged, not confirming nor denying. 

“Well, then,” Sirius went on. “How about next time you see Bellatrix you tell her I think she’s-”

At that moment the door to the dining room pushed open. Sirius froze, giving his brother a ‘get-out-of-here’ look before composing himself, fixing his eyes straight ahead. Luckily, his brother heeded the warning and turned to run back up the stairs, Orion’s agonizingly slow footsteps echoing off the high ceiling as he approached. Eventually the man stopped directly in front of Sirius, almost too close, several seconds of silence passing as he looked down his nose at his son.

“As heir to The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black,” he began, absentmindedly gesturing to the tapestry hanging on the opposite wall, adorned with their family tree. Sirius didn’t turn toward it, feeling it’s presence on the side of his face like the sun. “I expect you to bring further honor to our family name.”

Sirius nodded once, his brows as firm and resolute as they could be on an eleven year old boy.

“Do not disappoint me, Sirius Orion.”

He nodded again. “Yes, sir. I won’t, sir.”

Without another word his father turned back to the staircase and began to climb it. Sirius only expelled a breath when the man didn’t appear to stop at Regulus’s bedroom several floors above, turning to find his mother waiting by the door. She raised her arm at her side, Sirius stepping forward to hook it with his own and shutting his eyes as they apparated through time and space. 

~ ~ ~

Remus Lupin was terrified.

They’d arrived at platform 9 ¾ early at his father’s insistence. So early, in fact, that Lyall had to keep checking the barrier until it finally opened and they could pass through, a few witches and wizards looking surprised to see the pair so early on. It was all a part of the plan, of course. The plan to get Remus onto the Hogwarts Express unseen by other students. 

That was important. Going unnoticed.

His father’s hand remained between Remus’s shoulders as he ushered his son forward through the train. When they reached the very last compartment he waited for a nod of approval before going inside, looking around the small space and taking an awkward seat on the edge of a bench as Lyall began a hurried inspection.

“Alright?” he asked absentmindedly, drawing the curtains and tapping them with his wand. Probably a sticking charm. Something to keep them shut, even if the only thing that might witness Remus from the window would be the open sky. Perhaps a bird or two. 

“Good,” the man said once he was finished, despite Remus not answering. He pursed his lips, and the compartment quickly filled with a lead-heavy silence now that he had nothing to busy himself with. Remus looked toward the window, despite there being nothing to see, until Lyall lowered himself onto the bench opposite him. He sighed deeply, bowing his head so he could run a hand over his thinning hair.

“You, ah.” He cleared his throat. “You remember what I told you, son?”

_Keep your head down. Focus on your studies. Don’t hang around your classmates more than you have to. It’s not safe._

Remus nodded, fingers tightening on the thick seam of the seat below him. Lyall’s eyes dropped to them, seeming to notice his son’s white knuckles and stiff posture. 

“I’m… sorry, your mother couldn’t come with us today,” he changed the subject softly, though there was still a tenseness behind the words. An unspoken _‘this is what has to be done.’_ Remus looked to the windows again, dim light barely pushing through the thick red curtains.

“It’s okay.”

Lyall leaned forward to squeeze Remus’s knee. The boy felt as though there was a beehive in his chest, buzzing, vibrating his whole body down to his fingertips. He wondered fleetingly if his father could feel it.

“You’ll be alright.” 

Lyall seemed to be trying to convince himself more than his son.

When Remus answered, “I know,” it felt like he was doing the same. 

They stared at each other for a long moment, two nearly identical sets of green eyes dulled by worry. Lyall’s hand slid away from Remus’s knee and he swallowed, finally looking away. A great sadness was pulling down the lines of his face, and Remus knew he wanted to ask him to stay. He could feel it, palpable in the air like a dense fog, but thankfully the request never came.

“Da,” Remus spoke quietly. “Dumbledore promised, remember? I’ll be alright.”

It took several moments for his father to nod, the motion jerky. He stood up, turning to the compartment door, eyes downcast toward the carpet. “I’ll… uh.” The man coughed into his hand. Remus watched his hunched back, the long nose he’d inherited practically pressed to the glass. 

“I’ll lock you in. Make sure nobody disturbs you for the journey.”

Remus dropped his gaze to his knobbly knees, reaching for his small stack of books as the door slid open and his father stepped over the threshold. There was an eerie similarity to the way he looked once a month as he locked Remus into the basement. He was just as grey as then. Just as tired.

He turned back in the doorway, and the two looked at each other one last time. Remus even forced a small smile onto his face

“I love you, son.”

The smile fell, unable to stay propped up through Remus’s surprise. He swallowed. 

“I love you too, Da.”  
  
And with that the door slid shut, leaving only the silhouette of Lyall for Remus to watch as he drew his wand and pointed it at the latch, murmuring a nearly inaudible _“colloportus”_ before stalking briskly away and out of sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimers:
> 
> *Regulus is two years younger than Sirius instead of one because I feel with only being one year apart, Sirius wouldn’t have a whole lot of big brother tendencies. I understand this affects the timeline a bit, but not enough to totally derail anything.  
> *I introduce a few original characters, but as someone who doesn't like having new characters forced on me when I’m trying to read about ones I already know, I promise they are only there because I couldn’t avoid it. They are never the focus of the story.  
> *There will be a lot of exploring how Hogwarts would work and character development. If you’re looking for a story where James, Sirius, Remus and Peter go into the forbidden forest every night and do crazy things like the golden trio, this might be a slower fic for you. If you like coming of age/friendship stories, I think you’ll love it as much as I do. Of course as they get older there will be plenty of adventure to be had.  
> *I'm not a Snape sympathizer, and I think Dumbledore is problematic. I also think Peter is a traitor. I explore all these characters, but they're not getting a redemption arc.  
>   
> Please let me know what you think! I love feedback!


	2. The Sorting

_September 1st, 1971_

_(Continued)_

Most of the compartments were full by the time Sirius boarded the train, only a few students lingering on the platform to say a final goodbye to their parents. He peered into each open door, searching for any of his cousins, but with no luck by the time he reached the third car he decided to give up. Popping his head into one of the last remaining compartments he found a bloke with jet black hair sitting across from a significantly shorter blonde boy. 

“Hey, mind if I sit here?”

Both of them looked up, smiling in a friendly sort of way.

“Not at all,” the black haired boy answered. The other dropped a small bag that was beside him to the floor, inviting Sirius to sit.

“Thanks,” he replied, taking the seat with a polite smile.

“I’m Peter,” the blonde introduced himself enthusiastically.

“James,” the other said with a toothy grin. He held out a hand, which Sirius took and gave a short shake.

“Sirius. Nice to meet you.”

James smiled even wider before releasing his hand. “Nice to meet you too, Sirius.” He gestured to Peter flippantly. “We just met as well, on the platform. Peter here nearly ran over my dad.”

Sirius looked at the boy beside him with a mix of alarm and amusement.

“It was an _accident_ ,” he protested.

James laughed. “Doesn’t mean it’s not funny.”

Peter, seeming to want a different subject to discuss, plucked at the dramatic sleeve of Sirius’s robe. “Why’re you so dressed up?” 

He groaned. “My mum made me, I swear.”

James snorted out a laugh. “Mine tried to put me into some awful frilly thing, too.”

Sirius perked up a bit. “Did she really?”

“Oh yeah,” he nodded solemnly. “And it was _orange_.”

Sirius hid his face behind his hands as if that was the worst thing he had ever heard- and it might’ve been.

“ _No_.”

“Mhm. Had to promise I’d write every week just to get out of it.”

It was Sirius’s turn to laugh, shaking his head. “Just so long as you did.”

From there, the conversation turned to quidditch when James asked if either of them had been to games that summer. Neither Sirius nor Peter had, and were happy to enjoy James’s tales of seeing the Arrows vs the Magpies, a match that lasted two days and ended in the middle of the night. On several occasions he stood, reenacting key moments with his hands complete with sound effects and commentary so passionate it made Peter wheeze with laughter. Sirius found that his stomach ached as well by the time the sweets lady came round with the trolley, though that didn’t stop him from buying an arm full of candy to share.

“What’d you lot think ‘f Ollivander's?” James asked through his teeth as he yanked at the tip of a jelly wand. It kept stretching until his arm had completely extended, finally snapping and nearly hitting him in the eye.

“I took ages to match with mine,” Peter groaned, looking miserable at the memory.

James chuckled. “Let’s see it, then.” 

Peter reached into his robes, pulling out a pale looking wand. Sirius noted it was shorter than his, but not by much.

“What sort of wood is that?” James asked curiously as he pulled his own from his sleeve.

“Uh. Birch, I think? It’s got a dragon heartstring.”

“Mine’s mahogany,” James replied, holding it out. “Phoenix feather. Ollivander said it’ll be brilliant for transfiguration.” He slid the wand back into his sleeve before picking up the candy version beside him where he’d set it down. “What about you, Sirius?”

Sirius pulled out his wand, looking down at it. “All I know is it's hawthorn,” he frowned, rolling it in his palm. “Most of my family’s are.”

“Ollivander didn’t tell you?”

Sirius shook his head. “We go to Gregorovitch.”

This got James and Peter’s attention, the former pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Whoa, really?”

“Isn’t that down Knockturn Alley?”

Sirius looked between them a few times, his brow furrowing.

“Yeah, why? Haven’t you been?”

They both shook their heads, eyes still wide.

“Oh,” Sirius replied awkwardly, slipping the wand out of sight. “Well. He does it a bit differently. Had to meet him first, then- Well. I dunno what he did after that.”

Still looking mystified, James and Peter brought their jelly wands up to their mouths at the same time, munching in silence for a moment.

“Mental," James finally said. "I’d always wondered.”

Sirius laughed. “It was rather boring, actually.”

“Anything’s better than an hour of having wands spout algae at you," Peter shrugged.

Sirius wrinkled his nose, James bursting into laughter at the mental image that procured. For the first time it occurred to Sirius, despite never having met these boys before now, he felt as though he had a million times. He was relaxed and warm, and perfectly content to go back to discussing pointless things like chocolate frogs and garden gnomes and how they’d heard one of the professors at Hogwarts was a ghost. There was hardly a pause the entire train ride, Sirius not wanting to miss even a moment when he had to change out of his dress robes into his regular school ones. 

~ ~ ~

Remus didn’t touch the door to his compartment until the train had stopped and the voices outside in the corridor had quieted. His father’s locking charm had dissipated, probably hours before, and he peeked his head out to make sure nobody was left to intercept him before leaving his trunk behind to be transported to the castle. His legs felt uncomfortably shaky as he stepped off onto the stone platform, and once his eyes had adjusted to the darkness of night he saw a lantern swaying high above the mass of other first years, a great, booming voice shouting, “FIRST YEARS! OVER THIS WAY, FOLLOW ME.” His stomach lurched at the sight of the group quickly disappearing down a narrow path and he sped over to them, slowing once he’d caught up and carefully maintaining a bit of distance. As he walked, he overheard bits and pieces of overlapping conversation.

“Thank Merlin we don’t have to wear those ghastly hats...”

“... reckon I’ll be in Ravenclaw…”

“Are there really vampires in the…”

“Whoa, it’s massive!”

Murmurs were suddenly growing in volume, starting at the front of the group but quickly reaching the back as a grand castle became visible around a corner. For the first time since that morning, Remus’s feeling of nervousness broke and became excitement instead. He was unable to keep a look of awe off his face as he took in the turrets, points of orange light which were surely windows decorating them, a grand stone walkway stretching across a swooping canyon, and all of it reflected in the lake below. 

“Four to a boat,” the giant man from before- Remus thought he heard him being called Hagrid- interrupted everyone’s astonishment. He spotted a row of small boats lining the shore they’d gathered along, inky black water lapping at them gently until students quickly began climbing in. Once four had become seated they would lurch forward on their own, distorting the reflection of the castle as they moved toward it. With each row that departed another seemed to float in from the shadows until only Remus and a few others remained, Hagrid being the last to join in a boat to himself which miraculously did not sink. Remus sat near the back, idle chatter from the three girls he was sharing with fading into the background as he watched Hogwarts loom closer and closer. He nearly missed when Hagrid told them to duck their heads in order not to be knocked out by a low tunnel, and when they emerged again it seemed as though the castle had doubled in size, taking Remus’s breath away. 

It was better than he’d ever imagined. 

He thought back to the day Dumbledore had shown up on his doorstep, after the third time his father had declined Remus’s Hogwarts letter. He thought back to standing in the hallway and listening to the argument which had ensued- mostly on his father’s part, as Dumbledore had listened to his insistence that it simply could not happen. _Impossible_ , he’d said. He thought back to Dumbledore sitting him down, convincing him calmly, telling him that there is no place safer than Hogwarts and that denying Remus the opportunity would be denying him his potential.

He crossed his arms over his chest and hoped desperately the man had been right.

~ ~ ~

James, Peter and Sirius stood together in a small sandstone corridor, staring up at a pair of massive oak doors a witch named McGonagall had just disappeared through. They swung shut on their own, filling the space with the sound of rushing air before leaving the crowd of first years in silence. For a moment nobody spoke, but soon a few murmurs turned into the buzz of eight dozen hushed voices.

“So?” James bumped his shoulder against Sirius’s and turned to face him and Peter. “Which house d’you reckon you’ll get?” 

Peter looked thoughtful for a moment. “I dunno. Definitely not the smart one.”

“Ravenclaw, you mean,” Sirius supplied quickly. 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I could hardly understand a thing in the books we had to get.”

“You mean to tell us you can read?” 

Sirius cracked a smile and high-fived James as Peter scowled.

“So I suppose you’ll be in Ravenclaw, then? Show off?”

James shook his head. “No way. I’m gonna be a Gryffindor.” The boy puffed out his chest slightly, eyes unfocused somewhere above all their heads. Sirius stared at him, remembering the jokes and loathing he’d heard his older cousins lament about Gryffindor house and feeling suddenly uneasy.

“How’re you so sure?” Peter asked. His blue eyes were wide with curiosity as he fidgeted with the sleeve of his robe.

“It's the best house. My mum and dad were both Gryffindors.”

Peter bit his lip. “Is that how it works? Mine were in Hufflepuff, I think.”

“Merlin, you’d think you were a muggle.” James shook his head, seemingly in shock that Peter couldn’t know everything there was to know about Hogwarts. “You know there’s Slytherin too, right?”

This time it was Peter who punched at James’s shoulder, though he playfully hopped away.

“What is it, Petey? Worried you’ll be tossed in with the snakes?”

“ _No_ ,” He insisted, opting to instead try stomping on James’s toes. The taller boy laughed and shuffled to shield himself behind Sirius, who’s own chuckle sounded a bit flat. Neither of the others seemed to notice. 

“Attacking your peers already,” James giggled. He dodged Peter’s feet as he tried to grab the boy under Sirius’s arm. “Seems pretty Slytherin to me!”

“I feel I’ve been involved in this against my will,” Sirius pointed out. He ducked to escape what had become a tangle of limbs. 

A moment later, every head in the corridor turned back to the double oak doors when they parted once more, McGonagall reappearing at the top of the steps. Peter immediately stopped trying to reach James’s hair, and James straightened up to see over the heads in front of them.

“Students,” McGonagall commanded attention from those who were still whispering. “We will be entering the Great Hall momentarily to begin the ceremony. Please form two single file lines.”

Sirius suddenly felt as though the sweets he’d eaten on the train had turned to cold rocks in his stomach, a lurching feeling tumbling them around like they were at the bottom of the sea.

Of course, unlike Peter, he knew all about the four Hogwarts houses. Since meeting the others he somehow hadn’t given much thought to the fact that he would soon be sorted into Slytherin, and as he stared at the back of James and Peter’s heads in line he realized with a pang how sure he was that neither of them could possibly end up there with him. The way they joked and carried themselves, the way James had talked about muggle London in amazement rather than disgust… His father’s voice swam into his head, chastising him for not picking a different compartment on the train. They were nothing like his family. They were nothing like anyone he’d ever met.

“What’s the matter?” 

Sirius was pulled from his thoughts by Peter whispering to him as they pooled around the front of the hall. He’d been so distracted he hadn’t even appreciated the grandness of it. The ornate wall carvings, stretching up the meet the enchanted ceiling. The four impressive oak tables filled with students from each house. He blinked down at Peter, a bit delayed, shaking his head at the question.

“Nothing.”

Peter frowned, but if he was going to ask again he was interrupted by Albus Dumbledore standing and raising both hands in a request for silence.

Sirius didn’t know what exactly he’d been expecting, but from the way his family had described Hogwarts’ headmaster he’d expected… someone else. Someone unpleasant and awful, but even from a great distance the man’s pale eyes twinkled and his cheeks were pink, his smile still somehow welcoming hidden behind a great white beard. Sirius watched as the witch from before flicked her wand to summon a four legged stool to the center of the small platform, then on top of it placed a pointed hat. He knew at once this was the sorting hat, though the patches and fraying corners were a surprise. 

Silence spread in the hall quickly, and Sirius nervously shifted from one foot to another, causing Peter to look at him again. A moment later, the hat burst into song.

_"Some of you may wonder,_

_what you’ll do with such a simple hat,_

_but others of you know me,_

_to be much more than that._

_Fret not my dear muggleborns,_

_nor pure bloods, half, or mixed,_

_for I’m the Hogwarts Sorting Hat_

_and I serve all of those betwixt!_

_When you place me on your head,_

_I’ll see the thoughts within._

_Your soul and dreams and desires, too-_

_each and every whim._

_Shall I sort you into Gryffindor?_

_Only if you’ve got the heart._

_For the legacy of Godric_

_is for the strong and bravest starts._

_Or perhaps it will be Hufflepuff,_

_where end the loyal and the true._

_All those patient Hufflepuffs_

_make up a steady crew._

_Yet it could be Ravenclaw,_

_where you’ll meet your fate,_

_where those of wit and learning,_

_have the largest minds to date._

_Lastly, are you Slytherin,_

_where true friendships shall be made?_

_Cunning, shrewd and focused,_

_in which leaders tend to stay._

_Put me on now! Have no fear!_

_You’re hardly the first to come,_

_along and ask the thinking cap,_

_Where do I belong?”_

Applause erupted from the tables behind them as the song finished. The first years followed in the cheering as the hat seemed to take a small bow in the direction of each table before stilling once more. 

“When I call your name,” McGonagall spoke over the noise, “you will sit on the stool to be sorted.”

The nervousness from the crowd around him was contagious, finding its way into Sirius's fingers and toes.

“Aubrey, Bertram!”

A small boy stepped through the crowd, taking the steps and looking to McGonagall before placing the hat on his head. Only a moment later it stirred back to life, shouting...

“RAVENCLAW!”

Sirius turned when one of the four tables behind them burst into cheers, welcoming Bertram happily before quieting down.

“Avery, Marcellus!” 

This time there was even less of a hesitation before the hat called out, “SLYTHERIN!” The boy smirked and made his way to the table where the Slytherins were cheering somewhat, though mostly pounding the table in unison with their empty goblets. As McGonagall continued to call students to the stool, it was obvious she was going in alphabetical order, therefore Sirius knew he didn’t have long before…

“Black, Sirius!”

He could feel hundreds eyes on him even before he climbed the stairs, quickly glancing at the faculty table where a few of the professors were looking on in interest- particularly the roundest of them, who was wearing deep emerald robes and had two glasses of wine in front of him. Once he got to the stool Sirius reached for the hat with a shaky hand, seating himself before placing it on his head.

 _“Ah...”_ a whisper, although it wasn’t quite in his ear. It was like the voice was coming from inside his head.

 _“They can’t hear me,”_ the hat reassured, clearly reading Sirius’s thoughts. It was a distinctly uncomfortable feeling.

_“Where to put you…”_

His brow furrowed. Wasn’t it obvious?

_“Not as obvious as you might think. It could really go either way… Are you quite certain you want to be in Slytherin, boy?”_

Sirius blinked. Was the hat asking him?

_“Yes, I’m asking. I tend to, with the tricky ones.”_

His gaze shifted around the room. Every set of eyes were glued to him, and heat rose into his face. He really wished the hat would get on with it.

_“I might, if you’d answer.”_

Sirius thought of James. Of how hard he’d laughed with him and Peter on the train. Of how he had been so sure he’d be in Gryffindor...

 _“Ah, precisely what I was thinking…_ GRYFFINDOR!”

Sirius froze, a coldness tearing it's way into his palms as he frantically thought _no, no, that’s not what I meant, it has to be Slytherin…_ but the voice, the sense of the hat tapping into his thoughts, was gone. He numbly lifted it from his head before realizing the Gryffindor table wasn’t yet cheering, leaving an uncanny silence to hang in the air. Rather, he saw many of the students looking side to side at one another. Sirius looked to McGonagall, catching even her share a look with the Dumbledore before a few hands finally began clapping. This seemed to wake Gryffindor from it’s stupor and more joined, though it sounded distinctly different from those who had been sorted before him

As he slid from the stool he forced himself to glance toward the Slytherin table, easily finding several familiar faces. His cousins, Narcissa and Andromeda, were staring most of all, though the more he looked the more glares he found. Glares from others, some of them strangers, and some of them belonging to people he knew. Witches and wizards who spent time at Grimmauld Place in the summers, who he had played quidditch and gobstones with his entire life. He swallowed and moved his gaze back to the crowd of first years yet to be sorted, finding James from an enthusiastic thumbs up he was directing at him, seemingly oblivious to the shock plaguing most of the hall.

Some of the feeling was just returning to his toes as he lowered himself down into a seat at the Gryffindor table. He stared straight ahead, pretending not to notice several heads bowed to whisper around him. Blood was rushing in his ears so loudly he didn’t even hear the next several names called, applause for each new sorting muffled behind it. He felt like he might be sick as guilt churned with dread in his gut.

_What were his parents going to say?_

It wasn’t until they were well into the L’s that Sirius looked up again properly. Up on the platform that seemed so far from him now, he saw a thin boy in a set of robes that might have once been black but had faded to a brown. The effect made him appear almost as if light was passing right through him. Like a ghost. He sat on the stool only a few moments before the hat opened it’s slit of a mouth and shouted…

“GRYFFINDOR!”

Cheers erupted around Sirius and he straightened up, clapping a few times. He tried to recover some sense of normalcy, thinking perhaps the boy might join him at the end of the table. Instead he removed the hat and simply took the first seat, a red headed bloke scooting over a bit to make room. After that, Sirius lost sight of him. 

“GRYFFINDOR!”

“HUFFLEPUFF!”

“HUFFLEPUFF!”

“SLYTHERIN!”

“GRYFFINDOR!”

As the sorting went on, Sirius’s heart slowly seemed to start beating again. When Peter was called up to the stool silence stretched on even longer than it had with him, and Sirius was just beginning to wonder if the hat was kicking him out when it called out “GRYFFINDOR!” The blonde beamed and gave James, still in the crowd, an excited look before running off down the aisle to sit beside Sirius.

“Hey!” he greeted.

“Hey,” Sirius answered, though his voice barely rose above the other students around them.

When James’s name was called a few minutes later, the two boys leaned back to catch a better view of the stage. He smiled brightly as he brought the hat up, and it erupted in a “GRYFFINDOR” as soon it touched his mess of black hair. Sirius somehow summoned enough breath to whistle, Peter whooping beside him, and a weight he hadn’t even realized was there seemed to lift from his chest. James slapped a few hands of those offering high fives before spotting Sirius and Peter together and jogged over to them, seating himself in the middle.

“What are the odds, eh lads?”

~ ~ ~

Remus barely tasted his dinner. When they moved onto dessert he unenthusiastically reached for the closest pile of ginger snaps, taking a small bite of one. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting, really, but… _Gryffindor_. His father had been in Gryffindor. The hat had called them brave and strong.

He didn’t feel brave or strong. 

“Hey, kid,” a friendly voice cut into his thoughts. He turned toward a much older boy with long red hair who was sitting beside him. On the other side was another who looked remarkably similar. “You okay?”

Remus nodded and took another bite of his ginger snap before looking back down at his otherwise empty plate. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the two exchange glances and shrug in unison before resuming a fight over the chocolate cherry on top of a great bowl of pudding. Remus chewed slowly, willing the cookie to last the rest of the feast and avoiding meeting anyone else’s eye around him.

Instead he looked around the room- if you could even call something so large a room- and took in the sights. It was exactly as his father had described, exactly how the books said it’d be, yet different. Up at the staff table professors wore merry expressions as they chatted with one another, not much different from the way the students leaned into their friends, grabbing at all the different foods and laughing happily at seeing each other again. Candles hovered above them just below the enchanted ceiling, pillars of light scattered among a dark sky.

Suddenly the hall was quieting again. Remus looked to the front to see Dumbledore standing once more, waiting patiently for silence.

“Now that we have food out of your minds and into our stomachs, I wish to give you a few parting announcements.” The wizard cleared his throat and smoothed a hand over his silvery beard. “Returning students, you will notice a new addition to the Hogwarts grounds in the form of a rarity- a whomping willow which, if provoked, will certainly attack you in a violent fashion.” Murmurs passed around the room, Remus’s eyes widening slightly. Despite the grim nature of the announcement, Dumbledore was smiling. “Should you avoid it, however, the blossoms in the spring are sure to delight. Now...” he looked sideways at the high table, “...at the request of our caretaker Argus Filch, I’m to remind you there is no…”

The rest of the announcements blurred together, referencing parts of the castle Remus was unfamiliar with or quidditch practice, though he did make a note of there being a significant increase in forbidden texts in the library which would require a professor's note to access.

“First years! Please gather outside in the entrance hall and await your prefects. They will escort you to your dormitories, as it would be most unfortunate to lose you on your first evening here.” He winked, a few laughs scattering around the room. “Most of all, I welcome you, to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.”

Remus couldn’t help but smile at those words despite anxiety continuing to buzz in his chest. There was another round of clapping which was quickly drowned out by the sound of all four tables rising to their feet. Remus followed the smaller of the two crowds back into the corridor they’d come from, joining the other Gryffindors who had coalesced by the far wall. Soon, the boy who had been sitting beside Remus earlier was standing tall above them.

“Hello, little ones! I’m Fabian, Gryffindor’s best prefect, and-”

“You wish, Prewett,” a blonde girl interrupted, shoving him as he laughed.

“Anyway, hello everyone! I’m Joyce, and once Ravenclaw is through hogging the staircase we’ll start on our way.”

Fabian stepped forward again. “And, don’t get lost. Seriously. This castle is bigger than it looks.”

Remus gulped, remembering the view from across the lake wondering how that was even possible. 

Joyce rolled her eyes. “Just follow us and you’ll be fine.”

Soon, Fabian and Joyce were both holding their wands high above their heads, tips illuminated brightly so everyone could see and follow them easily- even Remus, who once again was careful to stay at the back of the group. They climbed the marble staircase, and then another, and then another until Remus lost count, his breath becoming slightly labored along with many of the other students as they climbed higher and higher. Finally, after what seemed like ages, the two prefects were calling for the group to halt.

“Listen up children!” Fabian called. “You all need to hear the password!”

Remus stood on his tiptoes to see what the boy meant. All he could see was a wall lined with portraits, a particularly large one of a woman in a satin pink dress and powdered wig at the center smiling at the group and waving down at the two prefects.

“Password?” she asked.

The blonde girl shouted up at her, _“Purpura aures!”_

The woman in the portrait bowed graciously before, to Remus’s surprise, the entire frame tilted forward like it was a door and revealed a round hole in the wall. The group began pushing themselves through it, the two prefects saying things like “your ties and scarves will be on your beds” and “don’t forget to look at your schedules, classes start tomorrow.” Remus was the last to enter, catching Fabian’s eye who smiled at him.

“Hey again, kid.”

Remus gave him a polite smile before ducking into the hole.

Suddenly, he found himself in a round room lit by flickering light from an unnaturally rose colored fire burning in a grand hearth that stretched all the way to the ceiling. Around the fire were large, overstuffed armchairs and the biggest Persian rug Remus had ever seen, all of it in various shades of reds, muted browns, and gold. The group quickly pooled again in the center as Fabian and Joyce asked one more time for their attention.

“Last thing before you get to your beds! The boys’ dormitory is on your left, girls’ on your right, and at the very top of the staircase- don’t stop before then- you’ll find two rooms. Your trunks have already been brought up for you, of course, but if you’d like to switch beds you may- _tonight only!_ After that, if you hate your roommates you’ll have to make your case to McGonagall.” He winked, then made a shooing gesture with his hands. “Off you go!”

The group parted, and Remus was about to join the boys when Fabian stopped him.

“You’re Remus, right?”

He swallowed. “Y-yes.”

Fabian looked at him with sympathy and patted him on the back. “You’re not in trouble, mate. Dumbledore just asked me to give you this.”

Remus looked down at a square of folded parchment, sealed with wax, and took it carefully. Fabian patted his back again.

“You’re going to love it here. Promise.”

Remus looked up at him and smiled again, wishing there was some way to tell him it wasn’t that he was doubting. Once Fabian walked off to chat with a few older students who had gathered by the windows to watch the first years stumble around, he pulled on the wax seal to lift the folds of parchment and began to read the note.

_Remus,_

_I trust you remember my visit to you over the summer and my assurances that every precaution would be taken to allow you to attend Hogwarts. I’d like you not to worry yourself over the upcoming full moon, as Madam Pomfrey- our school healer- and I have personally seen to the arrangements. Please report to the hospital wing Saturday morning for further instruction. If in the meantime you require any relevant guidance, seek out Professor McGonagall, your head of house. She is aware of your situation and you can trust her completely, as do I ._

_Sincerely, your headmaster,_

_Albus Wulfric Percival Brian Dumbledore_

_P.S. Kindly toss this note into the fire behind you once you have read it._

Remus swallowed, holding the letter in both hands and reading it twice more before folding it and turning around to approach the fire, thankful that Fabian and the group of other students had left for their own dormitories as he tossed it into the flames. He stood there to watch it curl and turn to ash before backing away and heading toward the stone archway all the others had poured through.

By the time he got to the top of the winding staircase and pushed open the door to his right, two boys were already sitting on their respective beds and looking at him. He froze, staring back, until movement and the sound of a trunk being dragged behind him made him jump. 

“Convinced Fenwick to switch with me, lads!”

The boy on Remus’s right beamed, pulling himself into a half seated position. “That was fast.”

He smirked. “Gave him my set of gobstones.” 

The blonde boy sputtered. “No way! Those were Hollyhead Harpie ones!”

The boy with glasses shrugged. “Worth it. Don’t even like em’ that much anyway, since Smith retired.” He then seemed to catch sight of Remus for the first time, who had backed away into a slightly more shadowed corner.

“Hey!” he greeted with a contagious smile. “You must be R.J. Lupin, yeah?”

Remus nodded, glancing at the others who were now grinning at him as well.

“Was gonna bribe you, too,” the first boy continued, “but I guess now you’re stuck with us.”

Remus just stared for a long moment, wondering why he hadn’t properly prepared himself for this.

“Remus,” he finally answered quietly.

“Huh?” the brunette on the closest bed asked, once again laying on his stomach so his elbows were perched at the foot of his mattress.

“My name’s Remus,” he repeated. The tall boy smiled at him, tilting his trunk back so it stood on it’s own and he could extend a hand. 

“I’m James. This is Peter, and that’s Sirius. We met on the train.”

“Oh.”

He looked around at them all again before taking James’s hand.

“Your bed’s here by the door.” James paused for a moment, seeming to contemplate something. “Unless you want the one by the window? That’s mine now, but I don’t mind.”

“No,” Remus answered quickly. “No, it’s- By the door is fine.” 

James smiled again before resuming dragging his trunk to his bunk. Remus watched him before walking over to his own, stiffly sitting down and feeling the now familiar buzzing nervousness return at full force.

~ ~ ~

“This has to be the best dormitory in all of Hogwarts!” James exclaimed breathlessly a short while later, having thrown open a narrow window along the curved tower wall. Peter hurried quickly to his side, rising onto his tiptoes to look over the taller boy’s shoulder.

“Wow,” he sighed.

Across the room, Sirius rolled his eyes. He was sitting on his knees, unpacking in a disorganized sort of way, pulling folded robes and other items from the bottom of his trunk rather than from the top. When he noticed Remus watching him the boy quickly snapped it shut, making him feel as though he had been intruding somehow. He quickly averted his gaze and drew his knees up to his chest.

“What’re you two losing your hair over?” Sirius piped up nonchalantly. He hopped to his feet to join the others at the window. Unable to resist, Remus craned his neck slightly, hoping to catch a glimpse of what they were looking at.

“Amazing, innit?” James said one last time before moving away so Sirius could take his place.

“It’ll look brilliant when the moon’s full,” he conceded, looking out over the dark grounds. Remus could just catch a small glimpse of the black lake glittering in the distance.

“It’s practically full now!” Peter pointed out.

“Is not. You can hardly see anything.”

“That’s because it’s on the other _side_.”

Remus let his eyes slip shut, exhaustion hitting him without warning, and tried to drown their conversation out before uncurling his knees and reaching up for the curtains surrounding his four poster. The boys didn’t seem to notice until he pulled them shut with a sharp sound, instantly being thrown into rust colored shadows. Their chatter stopped abruptly and Remus held his breath, watching the curtains and half expecting them to be thrown aside, but it never happened.

“Remus is right,” the boy called James said instead. “We should get at least a bit of sleep, yeah?” 

Thankful that the conversation didn’t immediately return to the moon, or to himself, he let out his breath and turned to lie on his side, willing himself to fall asleep quickly so that maybe, just maybe, the restlessness he felt could be lost to the night before it settled in for good.


	3. Term Begins

_ September 2nd, 1971 _

Sirius was woken by the sound of curtains around his four poster being pulled sideways, followed by bright sunlight hitting him in the face. 

“Oi. Wake up.”

That was James. Sirius groaned.

“We’re not missing breakfast on our first day. Come _on_.” 

He felt a jab at the bottom of his foot from what felt like a wand. 

“Mmh… whatimeisit?”

“Time to get out of bed,” James answered unhelpfully. Sirius threw an arm over the top half of his face just as something soft fell onto his chest. 

“Get dressed, lazy. Pete and I are gonna wait in the common room.”

Sirius nodded, not removing his arm until he heard the door closing behind his friends. He’d spent the night in a restless sleep, reliving the memory of ascending those stairs in the great hall, the silence which had befallen it after the hat shouted out Gryffindor… It made his stomach feel as though he’d only just climbed down from the stool moments ago, even as he dragged his feet across the dormitory to the loo where he scrubbed his face with soap and water, running wet fingertips through his hair and tucking it behind his ears to dry. He then pulled his arms through the sleeves of his white shirt and positioned his tie beneath the collar, leaving red and gold silk undone and flat over his chest. Finally, his robes swung around his shoulders and he made his way to the staircase, feeling barely more awake than he had from the comfort of his bed.

“About time,” James greeted as he emerged. Sirius said nothing and fell into step beside the other two, yawning as they ducked through the portrait hole. Once they were on the other side, however, he stopped abruptly.

“Hold on. Where’s Lupin?”

James and Peter looked at each other. They shrugged.

“Dunno. We never saw him.”

“He probably just got up early,” Peter reasoned.

“It _is_ early.”

“Well. Earlier than now.”

Sirius frowned.

“What?” James cocked his head, dark brows drawing together.

“Nothing. He just… seemed a bit odd, didn’t he?”

They all considered this for a moment.

“Yeah,” James gave a slow nod. “Yeah, a bit.”

“Maybe he’s just shy?” 

Sirius thought back to the startled way the boy had jumped back from James the night before. The way he held his narrow shoulders, tense, even as he reached out to shake his hand. Even as he climbed into bed. He’d been wearing his robes when he pulled the curtains shut last night. _Did he sleep in them?_

He tuned James and Peter’s conversation out with these thoughts the entire way to the Great Hall, realizing suddenly they were rounding the last corner. It had been transformed completely from the shadowy ambiance of the night before with bright light pouring in from cathedral style windows, the ceiling above them now a warm grey. They made a beeline for the closest end of Gryffindor table, Sirius doing a quick scan of those seated around them for Remus as James and Peter continued their discussion about what they hoped Transfiguration would be like, but he was nowhere to be found.

“Whatcha looking for?”

Sirius opened his mouth to answer, but James did it for him. 

“Lupin. He’s not here.” 

He was surprised to hear worry in the other boy’s voice, which made him feel slightly better about his own. James was squinting all the way down to the end of the table, craning his neck to do so before he too seemed satisfied that their mysterious roommate was not present. 

“Maybe he already had breakfast.”

Sirius answered, “Maybe,” as he took a thoughtful bite of toast.

“It _is_ strange,” James agreed again. 

“We’re bound to see him in transfiguration.”

“Yeah,” Sirius nodded, stabbing a few sausages with his fork and transporting them to his plate, though he still had the distinct feeling they were missing something.

~ ~ ~

Just as Peter had guessed, they did find Remus in the transfiguration classroom. Most of the seats had been taken by the time they entered, but it wasn’t hard to find the tawny haired boy sitting at the front with a roll of parchment and quill already set in front of him.

“Gentleman,” Sirius's focus was stolen by Professor McGonagall, who had been sitting so still at her desk he hadn’t even noticed her there. “Take your seats. Our first lesson will be done in pairs, as you may have observed from the table arrangements.”

James immediately latched onto Sirius’s arm at her words, pulling him to a table at the back. He looked back to Peter and shrugged in an apologetic sort of way, but as the blonde made his way to the spot beside Remus he felt a small stab of jealousy. Luckily, only a moment later (as three Ravenclaws stumbled through the door explaining about a switching staircase), Professor McGonagall was rising to her feet.

“Attention,” her voice rang sharply through the room. “Now that we are all in attendance, we shall begin.”

James straightened in his stool and Sirius did the same, a sudden thrill setting in that made the corners of his lips turn up and thoughts of Remus fade to the back of his mind. He had spent his entire life in one of the most powerful wizarding families in the world, witnessing magic that made him dizzy with envy. Now, he was finally joining them. 

_Even if I am in Gryffindor_ , his mind supplied, sending a restless jolt into both legs that he decided to ignore.

“First, a demonstration.”

Professor McGonagall slid her wand from the sleeve of her robe gracefully before turning back to her desk where she picked up a small vase. She pointed her wand, a few silent seconds ticking by before a soft white light briefly connected to the object, turning it into a crystal clear wine glass before their eyes. An impressed murmur passed over the room until, with a tap, she transformed it back into it's original form.

“We will be focused on mastering the first school of transfiguration in your first months here at Hogwarts,” she continued without missing a beat. “Can any of you tell me what that is?”

Her small eyes scanned the room, waiting for a student to offer up the answer.

“Is that a raised hand, Mr. Lupin?”

Instead of answering, Sirius watched as the boy simply raised his arm a bit higher. McGonagall nodded and he quickly brought it back down to his lap.

“Transfiguring inanimate objects into other inanimate objects, professor.”

It was more words Sirius had heard Remus speak since meeting him.

“Good,” McGonagall praised, though her expression remained just as stern. “A point to Gryffindor.” With a wave of her wand, Remus’s answer began writing itself on the blackboard behind her. “Now, who can tell me the four _types_ of transfigurative spells?”

Several hands shot up this time, including James’s, but McGonagall pointed to one of the Ravenclaws.

“Transfiguration, untransfiguration, vanishment, and conjuration.”

“Correct. Four points to Ravenclaw.”

James slumped beside Sirius in disappointment.

“As I’ve just demonstrated,” McGonagall forged on, “this is transfiguration in its most simple form. Today, however, you will be turning matches into needles.”

A flurry of small sticks flew from a box on her desk and landed in front of each pair of students. James picked theirs up and examined it with squinted eyes.

“You’ll do well not to strike them against anything, to avoid fire,” McGongall noted nonchalantly. James dropped the match immediately, sharing an alarmed look with Sirius.

“They’re not magic,” a girl to their right whispered. They turned to see Lily Evans with her hand over her mouth to stifle what clearly would have been a giggle at their expense.

“Not magic?” James hissed back. “Then how would we start a fire with them?”

Evans didn’t answer, but the look on her face told them she knew. 

“Focus is _imperative_ ,” McGonagall carried on instructing. She tapped her temple with one thin finger. “It is a mistake to expect your wand to do all the work for you. Think, now, of how your match will transform into a needle.”

Several students- James and Sirius among them- closed their eyes to accomplish this, imagining the strange little stick becoming a dainty sewing needle with a pinned tip.

“Since this is your first magical lesson, I will also teach you proper wand holding technique.” Once again McGonagall’s wand slid from her robe. She held it loftily, her fingers seeming to only touch the wood enough to keep it from slipping away. “Most magic requires very little grip,” she explained, pointing again to the vase. This time it changed into a porcelain pitcher, much larger than the wine glass had been, and a pearly white. 

“Certain spells require different grips, of course. You will learn these in time. Are there any questions before we begin?”

The class, eager to start using magic, remained silent.

“Very well,” she nodded curtly. “You may retrieve your wands- however!” she cut in, “you will not flick, point, swish, or cast until I have instructed you to do so.”

A moment later they heard a clatter from the front of the room and looked up just in time to see Peter chasing his wand as it rolled across the floor toward McGonagall. They did their best not to burst out laughing as she looked down her nose and him and raised an eyebrow, Peter’s face turning visibly red even from the back of the room, but couldn’t quite manage it. Luckily, a bit of chatter had risen among the students by the time Sirius let out a loud snort, McGonagall wasting no time in beginning her way around the room to straighten wrists and reposition fingers.

“Not everyone is a pureblood, you know” Lily leaned across the aisle toward them to say. “Some of us have to learn all of this from the start.”

James blinked at her. “Huh?”

“You two, making fun of him like that. It’s not-”

James cut her off with a laugh. “Peter _is_ a pureblood. He’s just a clumsy git!”

Lily’s expression darkened. “You still shouldn’t-”

“He’s our mate,” Sirius interrupted. “Calm down, Evans.” 

The redhead rolled her eyes and turned away from them. 

“Mr. Black,” McGonagall’s stern voice said from his other side, startling him for the second time. He turned, grinning sheepishly, though it had no effect on her and she simply made a flippant gesture to his wand. He suddenly remembered what they were meant to be doing and held it up, gaining the professor’s approval as she moved her gaze wordlessly to James, who held his wand for her to examine also. With a simple nod she moved on to the next table and Sirius let out a breath.

“Isn’t she supposed to _like_ Gryffindors?”

“Dunno, mate. I can’t imagine her liking anyone.”

It took several more minutes for McGonagall to appear satisfied none of them would cause bodily harm- at least, not because of their grips. She moved back to her place at the front of the classroom and waited for the murmur of voices to die down again, which happened almost immediately.

“Before we attempt our spells, who can tell me what sets transfiguration apart from other forms of magic?” Professor McGonagall once more scanned for a hand. The only one raised this time belonged to Lily, fingertips stretched toward the ceiling as if trying to touch it. 

“Yes, Ms. Evans. Go ahead.”

“Almost all transfiguration spells are cast non-verbally, professor.”

“Correct,” McGonagall replied. “There are very few incantations unlike, as you will undoubtedly see, in subjects such as charms.” She raised her wand, then waited for her students to realize they were to do the same. They mirrored her, pointing down at their respective matches. 

“Each of you must try on your own. Choose one to go first, and… cast!”

The room was only silent for a moment longer before several student’s wands sparked or puffed out a small amount of smoke. James’s, on the other hand, didn’t react at all.

“Hey!” he said in frustration. Looking around, Sirius noticed everyone else’s matches utterly unchanged as well.

“Are you focusing?”

James gave him an annoyed look. “ _Yes_.”

“Hm. Let me have a go.”

Sirius stared down at the match and visualized it turning a steely grey again before pointing his wand and willing it to happen. He jumped slightly at a flash of white light but it was gone in an instant, leaving the match exactly as it was.

“You’re holding your wand too tightly, I think.”

“Am _not_.” 

“Let me try again.”

James pulled the match back in front of him to make another attempt, still with no luck. This went on for some time, both of them trying their best and the match not so much as twitching on the table in front of them until nearly the entire period has passed them by, their wrists aching.

“Students! You will set your wands down in three, two… one.” There was a clattering of wands hitting desks, then silence. “Please raise your hand if you managed any change. Any at all.”

Sirius gawked at a Ravenclaw boy toward the front of the room who raised his hand. McGonagall swept her long robes along the floor on her way over to examine his match, which glinted unmistakably as he held it up despite its shape remained unchanged.

“Good work, Mr. Bertram. Two points to Ravenclaw.”

Sirius and James deflated, slumping into their seats with equally sour expressions. Sirius glared at the useless stick in front of him until McGonagall dismissed them, but not before assigning an 10 inch essay on how the five principal exceptions to Gamp’s Law applied to transfiguration, which was a fitting ending to a disappointing first lesson.

~ ~ ~

“What a load of bollocks!” Sirius exclaimed as soon as they left the classroom.

“You can say that again,” James mumbled, though he seemed more put out than frustrated. He looked down at his wand.

“What if we’re squibs?”

Sirius scoffed. “ _I_ am not a squib.”

“But what if-”

“We’re not. It was our first lesson, and the only person who even managed to change their stupid thing was a _Ravenclaw_.”

James just frowned and slid his wand back into his robe sleeve.

“James. Mate. You told me you’ve been doing magic since you were a _baby_.”

“Not on _purpose_.”

“Hey!” a breathless Peter came up behind them, panting slightly. “Could’ve waited for me, tossers. How am I supposed to find the Charms-”

“Will you please tell James he’s not a squib just because he couldn’t turn that thing into a needle?”

Peter paled. “Oh, gods. Do you reckon that’s why I couldn’t do it either?”

Sirius smacked himself in the forehead, screwing his eyes shut. “You’re both idiots,” he groaned, shoving James into Peter and shaking his head. “Let’s change the subject.” He rounded on Peter, who looked up at him, startled. “What’d you find out?”

The blonde blinked, then made a confused face. “Find out?”

“About Lupin!”

“Oh,” Peter replied, then thought for a moment. “Uh, well. Nothing? He didn’t talk much.”

James stepped forward to stand beside Sirius, a curious look having replaced his troubled one. “Not at all? Didn’t you ask him anything?”

“Well… I did tell him he could hang out with us. This weekend, if he wanted.”

“And?” James and Sirius asked in unison. 

“ _And_ , he can’t. He’s going home to see his mum.”

“His mum? Really?”

Peter shrugged. “I guess she’s ill. I dunno, he didn’t seem to want to talk about it.”

Sirius frowned, then continued walking ahead of the other two, though they quickly fell into step beside him.

“Well, anyway,” James started, seeming to have abandoned his mood of despair from before. “We should probably turn around if we want to get to Charms on time. We’re going the wrong way.”

~ ~ ~

“Quickly, class! Take your seats- Gryffindors to one side, Hufflepuffs to the other. That’s it, settle down. We will begin shortly.”

Professor Flitwick was directing the mass of students around his classroom as James, Sirius and Peter entered. On one side daffodil-yellow ties were filing into long rows that were a cross between church pews and bleachers, all facing the center of the room, while opposite them Gryffindors appeared to be a flowing sea of crimson as they arranged themselves along their own benches. The three boys scooted themselves to the end of a row, sitting shoulder to shoulder, and once again Sirius abandoned hope of seeking out their estranged roommate.

“Welcome!” the short professor greeted from a stack of books piled precariously on a chair at the front of the room. His voice carried surprisingly well, even over the slowly dying down chatter of students settling in. “Everyone appears to be here- and on time!” He looked delighted, rubbing his hands together. The cheerful demeanor was a stark contrast to McGonagall’s serious one.

“I am Professor Flitwick, for those of you who do not know- or with poor memory,” he chuckled. “Today we will begin by practicing one of the most basic known charms: the illumination charm. This is only to get you comfortable, as I have little doubt each of you will manage it on your first try. I trust you already know the incantation?”

The entire room answered with a muddled, “ _Lumos_.”

“And the extinguishing charm?”

“ _Nox_.”

Flitwick nodded, pulling his wand out and lighting the tip of it several times to demonstrate. 

“You will all give it a go, now. Wands at the ready!” The room filled with shuffling as everyone pulled them out. “As you've just seen, there are no movements to go along with this charm. On the count of three; one… two… three!”

The room, already bright from sunlight pushing through several narrow windows, brightened even more. Several dozen orbs of light bathed the rows of students in white to match the gold, and although some of the wands were brighter than others, it appeared that every student had managed it just as Flitwick had predicted.

“Excellent! Now, to extinguish them- and kindly set your wands down so I may explain the more advanced part of today’s lesson.”

The lights around the room went out and Flitwick cleared his throat, wasting no time at all before “ _Wingardium Leviosa_ ” appeared on the blackboard. When he asked the class if anyone knew which charm the incantation belonged to, several hands shot up.

“Very good, yes, the levitation charm,” Flitwick confirmed happily, awarding 5 points to Hufflepuff for the answer. “Unlike lumos and nox, this charm is fairly difficult to master completely. The heavier the object, the more skill required, which is why…” Flitwick swished his wand and, suddenly, there was a feather sitting in front of every student. “...we will be using feathers. I’d like you all to practice the incantation among yourselves first. Go on, go on.” 

The boys smirked at one another, even Peter, not bothering to practice seeing as they’d been hearing levitation charms their entire lives. Of course knowing the words and casting the charm were two entirely different things, and all Sirius could hope for was better luck than they'd had in Transfiguration.

“Good,” Flitwick called for attention over the overlapping voices. “Yes, that’s quite enough I should think, good. Now, I will demonstrate for you the wand motion. The way we move our wands is particularly important when it comes to charms. Move in the wrong direction or miss a step and it is unlikely to work. I like to call this the _swish_ and _flick._ ”

Everyone’s eyes were glued to the professor’s hand as it elegantly cut through the air before flicking downward. Sirius practiced a miniature version of the movement with his own wand a few times under his desk.

“Watch me, now, as I put the two together. Ready, and… _Wingardium Leviosa._ ” Flitwick repeated the movement and aimed his wand at one of the Hufflepuff's textbooks. It rose steadily into the air, and despite having seen it hundreds of times, Sirius couldn’t help but grin at the prospect of casting it himself.

“Of course, feathers will be significantly easier,” he reminded them as he lowered the book back down in front of it's rightful owner. Once his wand was back inside his robes the professor cleared his throat and made a 'get ready' sort of motion with his hands, prompting the students to ready their wands.

"At the ready now- I trust you know the proper way to hold a wand, Ms. McKinnon, there, much better, relax the wrist… remember your incantation… now _swish_ and _flick_!”

The room was filled with voices, then chaos. Several feathers floated a few inches off tables only to fall again, and some didn’t move at all. A few were vibrating, and one hufflepuff even managed to vanish theirs somehow. Sirius and James’s feathers both rose off the desk together, though after a moment Sirius’s fell and slipped to the floor. He was just about to retrieve it (with a curse under his breath) when he noticed James’s continuing to rise. He stopped to grin excitedly, watching it go higher and higher.

“Yeah, James!”

The corner of the boy’s mouth twitched up but otherwise his eyes remained steady on his feather, wand hand rising with it. Almost every student was watching his progress now- or at least Sirius thought they were, until he noticed there were two feathers rising in the air. He searched for who was responsible for the other and quickly saw it was Evans, her’s just slightly higher than James’s and still rising. The two continued to approach the ceiling inch by inch until, to Sirius’s disappointment, James’s was the one to tilt high above them and promptly float back down to land in front of Peter. A few girls around Lily cheered excitedly as she calmly lowered hers back to rest on her textbook.

“Ms. Evans, excellent work!” Flitwick exclaimed before turning to James. “You too, Mr. Potter. Five points to gryffindor each!” James looked, grinning ear to ear, over at Lily who was smiling proudly herself, though she didn’t look at James. Sirius clapped the other boy on the back.

“That was brilliant!”

Peter nodded from the other side of him so enthusiastically his blond hair flopped against his forehead.

James beamed again as the class returned to practicing on their own feathers. “It was, wasn’t it?”

Sirius rolled his eyes before ruffling the boy’s hair- not that it made a difference. 

Flitwick climbed down from his books now that the excitement had died down and began making his way around the class to help anyone struggling, providing those who had burnt their feathers up or vanished them with new ones. By the end of class everyone had managed to make their feathers at least hop off the table, though the highest Sirius got his was up to his nose until, in an attempt to keep focused, he crossed his eyes and suddenly two feathers were falling out of the air.

“Damn.” He blinked and shook his head as the strain left his vision.

“Well at least we know you’re not a squib, eh?”

“ _I_ never thought I-”

“I might still be!” Peter squeaked, staring down at his feather in near horror. “It’s hardly moved at all!”

“C’mon, Petey. You’re panicking. You can’t use magic if you’re all uptight like that.”

“I dunno, Evans seems to manage it just fine.”

Peter snorted, but rather than agreeing James simply looked over at the redhead again, resting his chin on his hand.

“I think we’ve lost him,” the blonde observed. Sirius bent over his desk to try to see James's face, which had gone slightly dreamy.

“James.”

“Hm?”

“Don’t you agree?”

“Oh yeah,” he sighed. “She’s awesome.”

“That is _not_ what I said.”

“No?”

“No. And side note: you’re gross.”

“I second Sirius’s notion that you’re gross.”

When James didn’t respond, Peter used the tip of his wand to slide the boy’s elbow off the desk and he sputtered, having to balance himself before his face would have hit the oak surface. He glared, though it was diminished somewhat by his crooked glasses and Sirius laughing beside him.

~ ~ ~

After lunch, the boys headed down into the depths of the castle for potions. They were some of the first students to arrive, and with plenty of tables to choose from they picked one near the back corner, Sirius constantly checking over his shoulder in hopes of catching Remus enter through the arched doorway.

“This is turning into an obsession,” James declared after the third time. Peter nodded in agreement and Sirius simply sighed, propping his elbows up on the table and leaning on them.

“I just don’t get it. Why doesn’t he like us?”

“Who says he doesn’t?”

“I do,” he answered shortly. “It’s like he’s practically avoiding us! And when does he eat? He wasn’t at lunch either, and…” he trailed off, looking at the other two boys who were sharing an amused expression. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing,” James said innocently. Sirius rolled his eyes.

“I’m not obsessed.”

“So… if I tell you he just walked in and sat down, you won’t overreact?”

He twisted in his stool so fast he practically gave himself whiplash. Somehow, in the span of a few seconds, Remus had sat himself at a table on the opposite side of the room and already had his nose buried in a book. Sirius just barely resisted the urge to yell something out of frustration, his mouth forming a small ‘o.’

“Mate,” James laughed. 

“I just want to _know!_ ”

Only a moment after his outburst it became apparent which house they'd be sharing potions with when a large group of Slytherins entered the dungeon and began filling the remaining seats. He watched them siphon in until catching the eye of a short boy with stringy black hair whom, upon noticing Sirius, curled his lip in a look of disgust that made Sirius' stomach twist.

“Woah,” Peter whispered, turning to follow Sirius’s gaze and prompting James to do the same.

“D’you know him?”

Sirius shook his head, tearing his eyes away to stare pointedly at the front of the classroom, though the hairs on his arms stood on end as if he could feel the murderous look still fixed on the back of his head.

“What’s his problem then?” James bristled. He was still staring at the boy when Sirius aimed a kick to his shin.

“Quit looking.”

“Why?” he asked, though reluctantly turned forward. “He looks like he wants to curse you.

“ _That’s_ why.”

“I’m not afraid of some Slytherin.”

Before Sirius could tell James he wasn’t afraid either, even if he wasn’t quite sure it was true, the dungeon door swung open.

“Hello, class! Apologies for being late on our first meeting, but I had some very important business to attend to.” 

Professor Slughorn waddled to the front of the classroom, flattening his robes as he did so. Out of the corner of his eye Sirius noted with a mixture of surprise and misplaced betrayal that the mysterious Slytherin had taken one of the empty seats at Remus’s table. Even more surprising was Evans sitting between the two, leaning to the side as the bloke whispered something into her ear.

“Our first brew together will be a fairly simple recipe. I wrote it myself after one too many inconvenient lessons teaching the potion to _give_ one boils.” The professor huffed out a laugh at his own joke. “You will see here that I have provided enough cauldrons for groups of three to share, but in the future you will each need to bring your own. Understood?”

There was a murmur of agreement. 

“Alright then. Good. Let’s move on.” He flicked his wand at the board where a recipe promptly began to write itself, titled ‘ _Cure for Boils_.’ 

“Please retrieve one set of ingredients per group from the closet. Remember, some may need to be prepared!”

Stools screeched as students got up and headed toward the supply room, a line quickly forming. Sirius, James and Peter ended up toward the back of it, and to Sirius’s dismay the only students behind them were Remus, Evans, and the greasy haired boy- a fact which he tried to ignore until Peter leaned into him and made it impossible.

“He’s still staring,” he pointed out. James twisted his head around to check.

“Sure is,” he confirmed.

“Thanks for the update, detectives,” Sirius gritted out. “Just ignore him, will you?”

“Why?” James asked again.

“Just…” Sirius trailed off, unsure of how to answer. He hadn’t exactly gotten around to explaining that he was the first person in his family to be sorted outside Slytherin. _Ever_. And the suspicion that this somehow had something to do with that was mounting with each passing second. 

Unfortunately, before he could come up with something to say, a voice was addressing him from behind.

“Something the matter, Black?” 

Sirius ground his teeth for a moment before finally turning around.

“Do I know you?” he asked simply.

The boy’s eyes narrowed. “Severus Snape,” he introduced himself, though he didn’t extend a hand. Not that Sirius would have taken it.

“Is that supposed to mean something to me?” 

James and Peter grinned into their fists. Snape’s expression darkened.

“No,” he answered slowly, tilting his chin up, “but I know who you are.”

Sirius tried to conceal his surprise the best he could. “How, exactly?”

Snape sneered. “Your name carries a certain… expectation.” Confirming Sirius’s earlier suspicion, the boy’s dark eyes dropped briefly to his Gryffindor tie. “At least, it used to.”

Sirius could practically feel his friends’ curiosity radiating off of them. A crease had even appeared on Evans’ forehead as she looked between them.

“Severus, what are you talking about? Did he do something?”

“Me?!” Sirius protested. “I haven’t done anything!”

James took a small step forward so his shoulder was in line with Sirius’s. “He hasn’t,” he repeated the claim steadily, sending a wave of gratefulness through Sirius.

Lily’s eyes narrowed at James now. “I don’t recall asking _you_.”

James’s glare faltered. “Look-”

“He hasn’t done anything,” Snape cut in over him, answering Lily's question despite his eyes never leaving Sirius, who still got the feeling he was being insulted.

“Then why are you talking to me?”

Peter, standing slightly behind Sirius, laughed until Snape’s cold stare fixed onto him instead and he fell silent.

“Why don’t you piss off, Snivellus, eh?” James retaliated, puffing up again. Snape looked up at him, his pale forehead seeming to turn a bit pink.

“Or what?”

Sirius’s gaze was drawn downward by a small movement, catching sight of a wand dropping into the boy’s hand. Shocked laughter burst out of him before he could stop it.

“What’re you gonna do, duel us?”

“I could,” the boy answered, his voice low, smirk completely gone now and replaced with something much more sinister. Despite this, all three boys burst out laughing again and Snape’s expression faltered as he blinked, appearing surprised that they weren’t threatened by him. Evans bit her lip, looking torn, and for the first time Sirius looked to Remus and found the boy’s lips pursed. It was difficult to read his expression, which was carefully neutral, but he could’ve sworn he spotted the hint of a smirk.

“Is there something humorous about potion ingredients, gentleman?” Slughorn’s voice cut over their laughter, seeming more concerned about missing a joke than whether or not they were focused on the task at hand. They managed to stifle their giggles as he caught a sight of Lily. “Oh. And ladies.”

“No, professor,” she answered easily. “They were just laughing at your joke, earlier. It must have been quite the mess to treat so many cases of boils.”

Slughorn smiled at her, clearly charmed. “Ho ho! Quite right, Ms… Ah, I’m afraid I don’t have your name memorized. Remind me?”  
  
“Lily Evans, sir.”

“Ah,” his smile fell slightly, but only just. “Well, move along. The lot of you. Get your supplies and return to your seats.”

As he shuffled away, James smiled at Lily. 

“That was smooth.”

“Don’t talk to me,” she replied briskly, strutting past him into the supply room. Snape, after one final glare, was about to follow when the redhead reappeared, her arms full of the necessary ingredients remarkably quickly. “Let’s go, boys,” she said with her nose turned up, clearly meant for Remus and Snape, who both promptly followed her back to their table. Sirius left James behind to watch after Evans, dragging Peter with him into the supply room so he could hastily pull ingredients off the shelves.

“Can you believe her?” he complained in annoyance, choosing to focus on that rather than the shaky feeling left in the wake of the interaction with Snape. “Did _I_ do something. Her _boyfriend’s_ the one-”

“He’s not her boyfriend,” James cut in, having joined them, though he was pouting a bit as he began counting porcupine quills. Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Whatever,” he muttered.

“What about the weird Slytherin who looks like he’s been soaking in bubotuber pus?” Peter pointed out, sounding cautiously outraged. “Are we gonna talk about him?” 

Sirius paused for a moment, knowing that the next questions would be about what he’d meant by the Black name having a reputation. Out of the corner of his eye he could see James staring at him expectantly. Instead of answering, though, he promptly walked back out of the closet and to their table, letting them finish collecting the remaining supplies.

~ ~ ~

Remus ate his dinner quickly that night, opting to sit at the end of Gryffindor table which was closest to the exit of the great hall. He absentmindedly brought the few remaining forkfulls of food on his plate to his mouth while simultaneously watching for when others would begin to depart, hoping for a crowd he could use as cover to go unnoticed as he took his own leave. He didn’t have to wait long, as it turned out. A group of older students rose from the table and passed him by, obscuring him from view nicely- at least, so he thought. The corridor outside the hall was so quiet and dim by comparison he let out a sigh, quickly moving up the marble staircase.

Then, he heard a familiar voice call out behind him.

“Hey!”

Remus froze. When he turned around, seeing no other choice, he found James Potter looking up at him from several steps below. A moment later Sirius and Peter’s footfalls echoed as they joined him. Remus shifted, trying and failing not to show his discomfort. 

“Hello,” he finally answered, unsure of what else to say.

“Where’re you going?” Peter asked, his face open and friendly. Remus’s mouth opened and closed a few times before any sound came out.

“Just, um, upstairs. To the dormitory.”

“We’ll come with you.”

“No,” he replied far too quickly. All three boy’s expressions fell. “I’m just… really tired,” he tried to smooth over, shoulders rising slightly toward his ears.

“Too tired for dessert?” Sirius smiled hopefully, gesturing back to the hall behind him.

Remus swallowed. “I…”

“Hey, no worries,” James spoke up, waving a hand. “Rest up, yeah? We’ll try to be quiet coming in."

If the entire goal hadn’t been to avoid them, he might’ve hugged James right then and there. Instead he simply answered, “Thanks,” in a small voice before all but running up the rest of the stairs until he could turn a corner out of view. He leaned back against the wall just as he heard James yell, “Ow!” followed by Sirius’s voice saying something that was muffled by the distance put between them. Remus shut his eyes, fighting the strangest urge to turn back and join them, the memory of their smiles as they looked up at him swimming in his mind before he snapped his eyes open again and kept on walking.


End file.
